Developing at all costs

These words were inspired by a recent touchline conversation I had with an opposition coach. It was so weird it started me thinking, has the pernicious "win at all costs" approach been replaced by a "develop at all costs" approach?


Let me try and set the scene:

Its a blustery Saturday morning about 10:30 am at my home pitch on the Fylde coast.

The under 9's are engaged in a very competitive, close encounter and the score is 2:2.

Stood 3 metres away is the opposition coach bellowing out commandments to his team. Few, if any are responding and he seems to be getting more and more frustrated. He asks if he can leave his area and stand level with his back line and coach them mechanically.

"Matt, two yards back. Joe, five to your left and watch their number 7"

Matt and Joe, start to follow his every word. Until, one of my team breaks through directly on goal with just Matt and Joe in the way. He bears down on goal and both defenders move towards him to engage. My player knocks it past them both and sprints in on goal, the keeper stays on his line so my guy knocks it calmly into the corner.

Now, I know what you're thinking, where was the communication, why didn't one of them engage and one drop off?

This is also what the opposition coach thought and boy did he make it clear. Not to his players, well not immediately. No, he made it clear to me.

He made it clear he'd told them this a thousand times, that he'd coached it lots of different ways and he'd even showed them videos of what they should have done. I stood, open mouthed wondering what he wanted me to say.

Thankfully, he turned away and continued to bark his coaching instructions before taking Joe and Matt off and making it clear it was because they'd, in his eyes, made a mistake.

This as I've said, got me thinking. Was he concerned about the score, or was it his coaching he was worried about?

We all have an ego. The "win at all costs" approach is driven by the ego. It's created by our own desire for achievement to, in turn, create self worth.

It's good that these days this approach is reducing. By no means disappearing but definitely reducing. However, our ego is still there. Pecking away and looking for ways to make us feel good or bad about ourselves. So, has win at all costs really started to disappear or has it been replaced by a desire to look like a brilliant coach?

It's easily argued that one approach is more desirable than the other but is the outcome any different? In both approaches the child is experiencing the adult's wants, needs and desires. Adult expectations, whether its to win or to play as they've been coached are just as damaging.

I give instructions from the sideline, but I have limited expectations of them and I am trying to reduce them all the time. However, I still feel the burden that maybe the parents are expecting more. Something else.

As coaches, we all feel like we should be able to influence the game. We see our counterparts on TV prowling the technical areas and yelling orders incessantly. Yet we wont accept this from parents.

We feel that their input, however correct or useful it may be at any given time is not required. Again, I feel this could be our ego being hurt. We want our instructions to be heard, our skills to be valued.

The very same coach told me he'd never heard any single parent, anywhere shout anything of worth yet I know that two years ago he was one of these parents and he always gave his pennyworth.

Where this leads me to is this. The game is not the ideal time for coaching. The kids want to play and the coach is not really in any position to initiate learning. Bring kids off by all means and coach then or let them watch to learn but yelling our expectations or suggestions is probably not helpful.

I'm going to try to be quiet, to take notes for half time or coaching sessions and enjoy what's going on

Our ego can't really be left at home but we can find ways of shutting it up.